Broken Doll
by JokerSmiles
Summary: To be unclean and unwanted? What was that feeling? Who was I to say that he was mine? But who was he to say I was his? In truth Ciel, you were always fragile. I always saw you as something special precious even but someone else has notice it too.
1. Warning Signs

**Authors Note: So yeah I have had this huge idea for a story for like forever so i finally decided to write it.. tada first chapter here we go!**

**-JokerSmiles:)**

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><p><strong>Chapter One: The Warning Signs<strong>

Snow, so white and pure, the indefinite sign of Winter approaching vastly. Most children loved the snow, to play in and to keep in mind that Christmas was on its way. Unfortunately to a poor Earl at the age of 13 hated the snow, no he loathed it. It wasn't that it was because it was cold or the reason he used dislike because of its close relation to his birthday. Ciel Phantomhive loathed the reminder of its purity compaired to what that damn puppet called his own body...Unclean. To be unclean, Ciel could never get those words out of his mind. Throughout the years he could never let them be. It seemed like it has been an eternity with that word stored roughly in the back of his thoughts and worries. Unclean, Unnecessary, Unwanted. Was that what he was? These days, when he sat alone in his chair in the back of his office, Ciel could only believe it was true.

A sudden knocking at the door pulled the young earl out of his disturbing beliefs. "Bocchan?" His butler, the only one who knew mostly everything there was to know about him. For a normal person knowing what Sebastian knows would ruin any person's reputation, but with their bargin-no their deal Sebastian would never utter a word.

"Come in." A muttered voice hidden behind the boy's throat spoke up allowing the person behind the door to enter. Walking in slowly his butler rolled to him a tray of tea. "Earl Grey?" The young earl automatically asked.

Smiling his butler replied, "Of course." Begining to pour the tea into the cup Sebastian jumped up suddenly. For that breif moment Ciel sensed something was wrong, inside his butler's auburn red eyes they held some sort of anger about them.

"What is going on Sebastian?" Curious about the situation his master questioned.

Going back to serving the tea with a smile the man in complete black replied, "Nothing to concern yourself with my lord." Before the child could even muster out an order for him to tell exactly what was happening the sly brute already left the room with a bow.

After cursing his butler for keeping secrets from him he brushed it off for the moment to have his tea which he so despratly needed to keep his peace of mind. _What could he be hiding? There wasn't any of the queen's is he keeping from me? Damn him. Damn him back to hell. He knows something important, what is it? Damn no- I will not have this. _Ciel gets up from his position on his chair and storms off frustrated to find his butler. Going past the servants who were doing some sort of shinannigans to his mansion but right at that moment he didn't even care. "Sebastian!" He walked up and down stairs, to the servants housing, no sign of him. Deciding to look back upstairs he ran into Finnian.

"Oh! Sorry Milord I was-I'm sorry." The young man stuttered unsure of what to say.

Brushing off some imaginary dirt off his shorts Ciel looked up to the gardner. "Don't worry about it Finny have you seen Sebastian?"

The blond put a finger to his lips in an attempt to think up the last time he seen the black coated butelr. "Umm..He left for town possibily around 10 minutes ago?"

"He what?" Ciel stomped back upstairs heading toward his study.

"I'm sorry Master I thought you knew." The blonde cried up the stairs.

Step after step Ciel inched closer to his office. "Don't worry about it, go attend to your work."

Safe inside behind the closed wooden door Ciel tore off his eye patch, opening his discolored eye he shouted. "Sebastian! Come Here!"

Swiftly the window in Ciel's study swung open and next to Ciel's side kneeling on the ground there he was. "Yes my lord?"

"Where were you?" Ciel demanded, eye patch clenched in his fist.

"My lord, you mustn't do that it will wrinkle." Sebastian stated as taking the eye patch from the boy and began to retie it back on his eye.

"Don't avoid the question."

"I was just investigating something for myself my lord?" Sebastian stated with a smile.

"Did I give you permission to leave?"

"No I'm afraid not young master." Sebastian inched behind Ciel back, "Why don't you punish me for not asking." He breathed on Ciel's neck making Ciel's whole face turn to a bright crimson shade of pink. Feeling his face turn red Ciel forced himself away from Sebastian and faced his desk trying to avoid Sebastian's sight.

"There is no need for such things, go and don't leave again without asking me, thats an order." The still blushing teenager mustered out.

Kneeling to the floor behind his master smiling Sebastian replied, "Yes my lord."

Leaving the boy alone in silence Ciel slammed his fist on the wooden board of his desk, "Damn him. Damn him."_ Why does he always get me like this? Does he get some kind of sick pleasure out of it? I can't even stand it when he talks to me like that! I-I need some fresh air._ I stomp my way downstairs and see all the staff at work, except one. _Great now where is he?_

"Need me for something my lord?" A voice with a laugh behind it spoke. Turning around Ciel seen Sebastian grinning a big smile.

"Get my coat I'm going for a walk." Ciel could tell that Sebastian held some disagreement about him going on this walk, but being the perfect butler he was he fetched his master's coat.

"Might I attend you on this walk?" Sebastian asked in an almost pleading voice.

Scuffing at the idea Ciel answered,"No, I will be fine by myself for the day. Especially since you disobeyed my just earlier today. You will stay here unless you are called."

"Yes my lord." Sebastian bowed watching his bocchan leave his sight threw the front gate. Sebastian walked toward the servant's housing area. Each step grew heavier, like a weight dragging down upon him. A shadow appeared on the side of the wall, one not human. Sebastian punched the wall angrily. "Becareful little bocchan." Sebastian forceful said to himself.

In town Ciel walked the streets, past a few shops, past people that meant nothing to him. He couldn't shake that look Sebastian gave him as he left. It was a mix of anger and worry, it was strange for him to see on that mans usually almost unphased face. Pulled out of his thoughts Ciel heard something, he couldn't reconize it at first, but it had drawn him to an alley away from the people. Ciel stared at the alley, was he really going to go in there? _I should wait for Sebastian-No I don't need Sebastian. He did this to himself,but I did order him to stay at home. No I'm going to check it out._ Ciel walked into the stone surrounded walls. As soon as he stepped forward he reconized the tone.

"Build it up with Silver and Gold  
>Silver and Gold,..." A male voice sang mysteriously.<p>

Immediately Ciel ran knowing that song, he ran and he ran trying to get out of that alley. Was it always this long?

"Silver and Gold,  
>Build it up with Silver and Gold,"<p>

Ciel feeling scared grabbed at his eye patch only barely lifting it off to be grabbed, "Sebastian!" He screamed hoping he would hear him. The arms pushed down his hand so the eye patch remained flat on his eye. Ciel's vision grew blurry when he inhaled some chemicals on a cloth. Only Sebastian's name on his mind. _Sebastian Sebastian Sebast-_

At the phantomhive manor Sebastian felt himself being summoned by his master. Not wasting any time he bolted at inhuman speed to where he picked up his prey's location.

In the dark alley, purple eyes crept out from the darkness cascading themselves on Ciel's motionless body.

"Build it up with Silver and Gold, My Fair Lady."

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><p><strong>Authors Note: SOooo what do you guys think? Its only the begining of what I have planned for this story its just a matter of how it all comes together. Please Please Please REVIEW :)<strong>

**-Joker Smiles**


	2. If Only

**Authors Note:****So I decided to test out an idea and see if it turns out...that Idea is this story, we will see how it goes...**

**-JokerSmiles:)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: If Only<strong>

_Where am I? Its cold, my body feels like ice. Sebastian, Sebastian where are you? I called you, didn't I? What happened to me? I can't move._

"Open your eyes little phantomhive." A male voice stated toward me, like a command.

Suddenly Ciel phantomhive's eyes opened to only see a blur of colors and shapes. He tried to speak up, but somehow he couldn't form any words to say let alone unable to open his mouth.

"No, No this will not do." He heard the voice speak again. When his vision began to clear he saw the shape of a man at a work table fiddling with something. "No, these are not proper materials for him. And so I thought to myself I will try and find another color." The man stepped to the side and began to dig through boxes. Apparently finding a cloth he wanted he said, "Yes this is the right color. The right shade of Gold for you to wear." After placing the cloth on the table the tall figure moved toward the boy laying on the cold ground in the corner. Kneeling to his height Ciel knew who his captor was, Drocell the puppet of a butler. Again Ciel tried to scream, tried to shout, make any noise for someone to hear him, but his body remained unchanged. Emotionless, and Still. "So you have indeed woken up little phantomhive?" The puppeteer's head turned to the side almost like a curious animal. "So I thought to myself, you will indeed like the materials I have chosen for you." Hugging his knees to himself he continued. "My master is dead so I am very lonely here alone. Then I thought to myself, why not? Why not make Ciel Phantomhive a doll? Make you my doll."

Ciel couldn't believe what he was hearing let alone seeing. Last he remembered was that Sebastian killed this loon in the castle where he saved Elizabeth, but why was he still alive?

"Little Phantomhive..." Drocell grabbed Ciel's face. "What a beautiful doll you are becoming. I am sure everyone will love to see you on display. Especially that butler in black of yours. Then I thought to myself, as a bonus I will take revenge on him for slicing open my head and stealing you away the last time. I will not be alone, little ciel. A beautiful doll, emotionless expression, just the way you were created to be." Drocell stared deeply into Ciel's blue eye, he noticed it was begining to shift on its own out of his control. "He will enjoy you as a doll, no need to be frightened when he is gone you can forever be a living doll with me. Then I thought to myself, if I stole you away from him, would he get jealous?"

Sebastian tracked down Ciel's whereabouts to the back alley away from the crowds, he found nothing, no body, no blood, almost nothing. Almost. On the ground there were little pieces of clear strings carelessly thrown to the ground. "So you have come back, Drocell."

Drocell stood up and grasped Ciel in his arms. Carrying him to a near by chair and setting him down Drocell soon went back to his work preparing Ciel's outfit for when he became a doll. Ciel clinged to his thoughts of Sebastian wondering where he was, he felt incredibly stupid for not listening to Sebastian's offer to accompany him on his walk. If only he paid more attention to the signs, and let his butler come with him, he may not have been in this situation.

"Sleep now little phantomhive, soon you will wake again, as my doll. Only then did I think to myself, you would be a great display for all to see." Drocell began to hum london bridges which soon brought Ciel's eyes to feel heavy and fall to a deep dreamless sleep.

Sebastian was growing frantic, he couldn't find his master anywhere. Everywhere he looked Sebastian knew he had searched there before. He hunted and scavenged to try and find some sort of clue on the whereabouts of his bocchan.

He couldn't give up, he just couldn't. Not wanting to admit it to himself the boy meant a great deal to him, much more than someone like him should love his contractor. Sebastian was growing very worried, he began to feel helpless, hopeless compared to his usual self. Deciding the check the alley once again he saw something that wasn't there before, what made it worse was that it was addressed to him. Quickly he opened the letter and read:

"Dear Sebastian Butler to the House of Phantomhive,

You must be going frantic by now, but no need to fear your bocchan is still alive. He is here with me.

He and I have been having a splendid time, we even decided that he would become a doll in your honor.

Come and find is quite a shame you let the poor child run on the streets alone, so then I thought

to myself, you have no right to call someone this precious yours. Ciel Phantomhive is no longer yours to claim."

-Drocell Puppeteer to the House Of Mandalay(sp?)

Sebastian angrily crumpled the paper and sped off frustrated on trying to find clues. As the day went on Sebastian could only return to the manor to give the servants some exlaination on their lords whereabouts. Refusing to lie, Sebastian merely stated he was spending time with someone and he was staying overnight.

Sebastian grew more and more angry. As he made his was to his room he let his fingertips drag along the walls in agony. His fingertips would have been mistaken for nails digging into the wallpaper if you listened just right. Arriving at his room he threw a fit by throwing things against the wall and banging on the walls. If only he would have had the will to disobey one of his masters orders, no- if only he would have explained the situation of that feeling he felt in the begining of the day. The feeling of an intruder on the grounds who was not meant to be there. One that should have been gone. Sebastian being baffled by this feeling investigated without his lord's permission to put his own mind at ease. Which unfortunately caused his plan to keep his master safe backfired. If only he could have been one hell of a butler today.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: So far Idk how I am feeling about this story it was an idea I came up with out of the blue last night and I knew if I didn't post or write about it the whole thing would keep bugging me in my brain til i did. For now I will try and keep up with this story, I decided to write in a different way than I usually do as well to try something different...Idk...<strong>

**Anyway Please Review, and Have a WONDERFUL DAY :)**

**-JokerSmiles:)**


	3. Words Really Do Hurt Most

**_Authors Note: I Really like this Chapter I got all excited when writing it cause i was like "I want to design Ciel's doll dress!" and SHA-BAMMM! I drawn it right away. (It will be posted soon on my D.A. accounts for those who want to see it) (for my D.A. account PM me and I will email my account names) :) So yeah here it is Chapter 3!:)_**

**_-JokerSmiles_**

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 3: Words Really Do Hurt Most<em>**

_My head it hurts, I can't feel a single bone in my body. _"Wake up."

_ I heard the command sternly said before me. Suddenly, obeying without consent my eyes quickly opened for me to see Drocell standing before me._

"Good morning, little Ciel. Are you ready?"

_ What was I supposed to be ready for? I tried to form some sentence something: a movement, a yell, anything! Nothing, again my body did not listen to my mind, had I really become a doll for this sick personality of a man. Slowly the puppeteer walked over to my still form that remained motionless on the chair. Drocell lifted me up and carried me to a mirror, placing me on my feet he leaned my body against his chest with my hands in his own. _

"Look at the beautiful outfit I made for you. I believe it suits you very well. The trim, the colors are perfect for my doll."

_My face! What was wrong with me, I looked porcelin. Emotionless! I held nothing in my eyes, I would have mistaken myself dead if not for me thinking. My legs were unbalanced standing, only his grip on me kept me balanced. He bent his face to my level on my shoulder, tucking his fingers behind my head he tugged at my eye patch loosening it and having it fall to the ground._

_ Bringing his lips to my ear with a smile he whispered, _"Call for him, command him, say his name, now!" _Commanding me he placed one of his arms around my waist tightly._

_I watched in the mirror my lips obediately formed the word shouting, _"Sebastian!"_ No! what was Drocell going to do to him? Wait, Sebastian killed this guy before he should surely be able to do it again. Couldn't he?_

Sebastian's anger inside him grew with every passing second of his Bocchan's disappearance. He was feeling more and more usless, more human with the emotions he was experiencing. Working for too hard and too long for that boy's soul he was not going to give up now, but there was something troubling him. Recently he had been feeling different feelings about the contract, almost like he didn't want it to end. Regretting everything in his entire body for letting his bocchan leave his sight. He began to give up hope, feeling that he wouldn't be able to save him this time, even for being the butler he was. Until, he heard the call..._"Sebastian!" _He-He was calling him. Sebastian immediatly bolted out of the manor to his now known master's location.

"Thats a good boy, say it again! Say his name!" Drocell ordered.

_Again I unwillingly shouted in a my own voice I didn't even know._ "Sebastian!"

_"Sebastian!"_ Again Sebastian heard his name, as he was speeding towards a hidden old house in the woods, which he mental hit himself for not finding it before. Bursting though the door, he looked around, quickly. No one in the front room. He sped through the rooms upstairs which were empty and only filled with ribbons and other materials. Running down the stairs to the basement he felt his master's presence. Suddenly...he came to an abrupt halt. In the corner, there was indeed he bocchan, but he was in the arms of another man. His eyes held nothing, no life, nothing that read of his master's usual emotion filled stamina. Where was the hatred, the sterness, the spark? He looked lost in those emotionless eyes.

"What have you done to him?" The butler asked while looking at the attire his contractor was wearing.

"Isn't he beautiful? The most beautiful doll I have ever made. At first I thought I should follow my original master's orders and make him out of silver and gold, but I felt that too would be too much for his body. I decided to keep his skin and make him into a living doll, so he may forever be in my arms. I think we make a great pair him and I. And I thought to myself forever we would be like this, together."

"You will release him Drocell." Sebastian ordered. "Or I shall steal him away just like before with your straw of a brain scattered across the ground." He threatened.

".Ah." Drocell warned as he leaned into Ciel's ear. "It seems our guest doesn't want us to be together _Bocchan_." Sebastian's eyes narrowed and his lips began to curl in a snarl. "Why don't you persaude him?"

_Drocell released me on my feet standing strait up. He brought his head closer to my ear and he whispered, _"Go to him, if he tries to touch you, use the knife in your shorts, and hold it to your throat."_ What? I thought Drocell wanted me alive, why was he-? My feet, moving on their own accord, inched their way to Sebastian. And as Drocell said, when Sebastian tried to put his hands on my arms and my hand instantly grabbed the knife and held it to my throat._

Sebastian's eyes widened. "Is this what you told him? I thought you wanted him alive."

Drocell nodded to the questioning man in black. "Of course, but it seems you need some persauding and influence. My true desire is to cause you the worst pain imaginable, and this boy is the connection to that said pain. And so I thought to myself steal him from you, control him til you fall to your knees then stitch him up for myself if he gets a few injuries."

"You would just use him like that? Your begining to sound like a-"

"A demon? I should, you of everyone on this earth should understand my feelings at this point. Ciel Phantomhive will become by doll and he will do everything I command little and big. The day that you fall to your knees will be the day where I take him right in front of your none moving body." Drocell paced around Ciel as he spoke. "

So, Sebastian, how does it feel to watch that beautiful color trickle down that delectable skin?" Drocell stared at Sebastian's quivering eyes. "I believe I know something about you that you probably wanted to keep hidden." Drocell walked behind Sebastian, and placed his hands on his shoulders. "You love this boy don't you?" Drocell stated with a smile. "You know that is the worst sin a demon can commit. Is it not true, it must be painful on you I can imagine that you have already begun to have the hateful words being carved into your very skin." Drocell turned his head toward Sebastian's neck. "Ahh here is one. Oh, Sebastian, is this one true? It states 'Filth'. It is so nicely carved into your pale white skin the red shows up beautifully. It must have been hard for you to hide these from you master. I could only imagine the other words that are painted on that snow white skin."

_For the first time in my life, I saw fear in Sebastian's eyes._

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><p><strong>Authors Note: So yeah, I kinda liked the way this chapter was going, I just kinda feel now that it is done I could have fixed a few things but I'm not changing it now... Please Review :)<strong>

**-JokerSmiles:)**


	4. No Longer His, No Longer Mine

**_Chapter 4: No longer his, No Longer Mine_**

_Staring at the scene that played before me I didn't know what to think. Sebastian was in pain? Why hadn't I noticed? Of course he is a demon butler and can do pretty much anything, but he could have asked me for help. No...he couldn't. Being a demon that goes against his morals, being a butler it goes against his standing, but as a somewhat person why couldn't he? Having a demon asking for help from a human...thats impossible, unreal, and never going to happen_.

_Drocell inched his was behind my butler wrapping his arms over Sebastian's shoulders_. "So Sebastian...does it hurt? Tell me."

Sebastian, eyes wide and mouth a gasp finally replied, "How do you know so much about my kind?"

"Well, in my life I was not typically know for being a "good" human being. I read books of the dark arts and creatures. I remember that one time I came across a book about..your kind. It said that demons contract with the living to nurish themselves, giving the mortal whatever they desire as their wish then swallow their soul. Though, one thing really intrigued me. If a demon was to be found having feelings for their 'master' other than hate or disgust things would happen. Things like the "words of..."what is it called Sebastian?" Drocell said with a smile.

"Truth." Sebastian muttered. His bangs hiding his face.

"Yes the 'words of truth', that I believe you are experiencing now. Such a horrible fate, only the begining, for someone like you. I remember reading the words are carved into the flesh feeling like a thousand thorns, and the burning sensation of each letter is harsher than hell itself. Each word that appears shows more and more of the demon hiding inside, the true self being displayed for all to see. Judging by how you are reacting you must have a lot of them. Its still a wonder you managed to not get any on that pretty face yet." Drocell traced his wooden finger along the edge of Sebastian's jaw, soon trailing it down his neck inside his collar. "Should we show are little doll of ours who you really are? Let him see the words himself?"

_Sebastian why aren't you doing anything? He is touching you and you just stand there? _

Drocell's hand creeped deeper attempting to pull at Sebastian's shirt to reveal his new scars on his skin. Suddenly, finally noticing the situation Sebastian's eyes went wide and grabbed the intruder in his shirt. "Don't ever speak of such things with my bocchan here."

"It is not like he can do anything. He is still my precious doll. And in your condition, its not like you are able to do much about it anyway with the little time you have left."

_What was Drocell talking about? Was Sebastian going to die? He-he couln't we still have a contract. He can't leave me! I have no family, Elizabeth and the servants they mean nothing compaired to him! Sebastian is the only thing that is mine and I can't lose him!_

_I felt a tear slide down my motionless face, I wasn't the only one who noticed. Drocell's head cocked up and looked at me. With a smile he walked over and said, _"I was going to taunt you somemore, but then I thought to myself I should point out your master's tears even in his current doll state."

"Bocchan"

_Drocell's put his fingers on my cheeks wiping the tears away. _"You see Sebastian, with your foolishness you have caused are lovely doll pain. Enough for him to cry. I never once saw a Phantomhive cry and I believe this is a very joy-filled moment."

"That is sick." Sebastian sternly stated. "My bocchan is my bocchan, I will not mock him for his weakened state."

_Sebastian._

"Your...Bocchan." _I didn't like that tone, and judging by Sebastian's face...he didn't either._ "So I thought to myself...you must be in so much pain you must have forgetten demon...Ciel is my Bocchan now."

_I wasn't prepaired. I couldn't do a thing about it. I know one thing though. I heard a distinctive animalistic growl slip its way out of Sebastian's mouth when Drocell pressed his lips to mine._

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><p><strong>Authors Note: I know this chapter is shorter than usual but I wanted to get it done cause I am in a rush, but I hope you love it anyway! XD<strong>

**-Jokersmiles ~on DA ciel's doll outfit coming soon!**


	5. What Sins Do Demon's Commit?

_I feel sick. The feel of his lips to mine felt wrong. I couldn't even pull away even though I despretly wanted to. Drocell went to great lengths to get at Sebastian, but this...this was mad. He slowly released me and left me on my feet and walked over to Sebastian who was speechless. His expression was unreadable to me. It was dark, his eyes were glowing madly. Quivering his lips stated. "Dead." _

_"I'm sorry Sebastian what was that?" _

_"I said.." Sebastian lifted his head to reveal his face. His face held no all knowing smile, nor a trace of a already created plan in his head. This expression was not the Sebastian I knew. "you are dead." Suddenly Sebastian lunged at Drocell and the two of them began their duel. This fight was different from the fight when they met the first time. This time Drocell seemed more aware of his surroundings and what was going on. More over he was thinking more clearly than the prior time too for a man with straw for filling. It was all rather strange, too many strange facts to add up._

_Soon Drocell disappeared into the darkness of the rafters, I watched Sebastian follow up into the blackness. I could hear them fighting. I heard Sebastian speak, but with me being on the ground so far from them, I couldn't even hear what he spoke._

In the rafters Sebastian tried to attack Drocell anywhere. His head, his chest, any place that could be made a weakness. "Why do you feel it was necessary to latch that filthy mouth on my meal, don't you know low lives like yourself only ruin the taste?" Sebastian swung his arm in Drocell's direction.

"You and I both know that boy means more to you than just a meal, Sebastian." Drocell smiled. "That name, it is no better than a dog's. Shall I get a collar on you and make you beg for his life on your knees?" Drocell said as dodging another hit.

"If you so much as lay another hand on him I will not hesitate to tear you to pieces." Sebastian's eyes glowed in time for emphasis.

Drocell suddenly appeared from behind Sebastian, his hands gripped onto Sebastian's coat with a knife in his hands. "Pieces you say? Lets see the marks of all your wrong doings?" Swiftly before even Sebastian could react Drocell sliced open the butler's coat exposing his pale tattered flesh. Drocell kicked him off the railing making him fall to the ground, but swiftly landing on his feet. Sebastian glared daggers at the puppeteer. "What's the matter butler? Afraid that I exposed your true sins to your master? No one is perfect...not even you."

_When I watched Sebastian fall, I couldn't believe it. What was going on with him? Were the marks on him effecting him this much? But when I looked upon his glorious body painted in scars of words I could only think. What sins could a demon commit?_

**_Authors Note: I know it is a short chapter but i have been sick and I haven't felt good to really do anything but I felt I owed you this chapter for making you wait so long and I am so sorry for the wait._**

**_-JokerSmiles:) Please Review :) :) :) _**


	6. Don't Leave

_**Authors Note: I have been writing more stories lately because of A) been really stressed and writing makes me feel better and B) I love to... but i have a little less time to do updates (only for next month or so) I plan on updating stories more frequently but here is the catch. updates will come quicker to the stories with MORE reviews on newest chapter i post. I hate to do it this way but its just easier for me to keep up. (just for next month or so.) so please review and enjoy :)**_

_**-Jokersmiles:)**_

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><p>Sebastian...what are you hiding from me. I stared at the word that scared his pale flesh. They were some in a different language, others I could read quite clearly. They said things like 'Filth' 'Embarassment'<br>'Worthless' and 'Traitor'. These words confused me. I wanted to know what Sebastian could have done to cause these wounds upon himself. Drocell got closer to me, with each step I got another bad feeling.

"Lets see if you can create another mark across that ungodly skin. Drocell licked slowly up my neck to my cheek. I watched Sebastian's eyes glow with an intense heat of red. Sebastian don't fall for his trap. Again Drocell began to touch my skin, all the while I knew he was staring intently at Sebastain as he cascaded his puppet hands down my shoulders. Sebastian suddenly keeled over grasping onto his forhead in pain. "Yes, lets see it!" Drocell pushed me making me fall to the floor with a thud. He grasped Sebastian's hair pulling his head back exposing his forehead in clear view. "Lust? Why would this word be written on your skin? Could it be it turns to on to see your master in such a display?"

"Don't touch him. Give him back to me. Please"

"Since when does a demon beg? I haven't had my fun yet. You won't have much longer since these words carved in your body are spreading fast." Drocell dug his hand into one of the cuts already printed on Sebastian's flesh. Sebastian, even though unwilling,  
>fell farther to the ground and let out a small sound of pain.<p>

Sebastian.  
>Sebastian...<p>

I can't let him do this to you. You are mine.  
>You are mine? YOU ARE MINE!<p>

I suddenly could move my fingers on my own accord, slowly but carefully I could move my legs as well. Somehow Drocell had not noticed my sudden control, nor Sebastian, on the count of the event occuring between the two of them. Quietly grabbed a pair of scissors from Drocell's dressing table. I snuck behind Drocell and held the blade to his throat, this action made both him and my butler gaze at me in shock. "Release my butler."

"Haha...little puppet you seemed to have gained some control over yourself. Why don't you just put down your weapon and we can talk rationally." Drocell tried to bargin. I refused to falter. "No? Ok." Suddenly I was brought down to my knees next to Sebastian. "What shall I do with you?" Drocell pried the scissors from my hand and held them to me. "You need to be punished...bad dolls don't get rewards." He was about to strike when Sebasian grabbed his arm and tossed him to a corner.

"You can insult me, and harm my body as you like, but you will NOT lay a hand on my bocchan again."

"You do realize you could die if you fight me in your current state."

"I don't care, a true butler always lays their own life down before their masters. And as a demon, I can not stand by as someone as low as you touches my bocchan with ease."

Drocell stomped toward Sebastian. "Then why don't you just die!"

This moment when by quick, I couldn't tell what had occured. All I knew is that Drocell's head was torn off and in one corner his body the other, and my butler Sebastian was stabbed in his heart and falling before me.

Free to move of my own will I ran to Sebastian. "Sebastian! Get up! You are a demon you can't die from a wound as simple as this!" I pulled his head into my lap. Blood spread around us and onto me as well. I should have been disgusted, but I didn't care. Sebastian was dying, I was nothing without him.

"Sebastian don't you die on me! Sebastian!"

"I am sorry bocchan, I made myself worthless to you by getting myself branded by these marks. They were worth it though. They made me realize what I feel for you bocchan, but they also made me fail as a butler who fell for his master. For that I am truely sorry." I watched Sebastian's eyes begin to close.

"No!" I screamed. "Sebastian!" I was coughing with sobbing tears that released themselves after years of holding back. Tears overflowing down my face I screamed again, "Sebastian! You can not leave me here! You have a contact to fullfil!"

Sebastian put his weary hand behind my head and pulled himself up toward me. "I am afraid Bocchan if I did live, I would not have been able to take your soul in the end, there would be no way I could. Though as your butler, your humble servant I can only fullfil one last duty before I leave."

Before I could even question what he would do, Sebastian pushed his lips against mine in a final goodbye kiss. A kiss I would never forget so long as I lived. Who was I kidding, I wouldn't want to live if Sebastian was not there at my side.

Seperating his lips from mine Sebastian let his head fall into my lap. "Sebastian how could-"

"If I could not do a simple task of saying good bye to my master, then..what...kind of butler..would I...be?..."

"Sebastian?" No reply. "Sebastian?" NO! "SEBASTIAN!"

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><p>Authors Note: pretty much read above authors note if not already done :)<p>

Next Chapter Coming Soon :)


	7. The Impossible

**Authors Note: Congrats Broken Doll Readers! You had the most current chapter reviews for the previous chapter. That means you got your update first! Keep it up the same trend continues. For those who don't know I have been pretty busy...So if you want the update of this story before all my others REVIEW because the updates I will be doing for the next month are based off of review count off the most current chapter. SO... GOOD LUCK FOR NEXT CHAPTER :)**

-JokerSmiles:)

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><p>"Come on Sebastian!" I cried. My small fingers were grasped around his coat dragging him down the abandoned streets back to the manor. Unable to pull his weight any longer I tripped over my own feet and stumbled to the ground. I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks. After a long amount of time of pulling Sebastian I gazed at his face. This made me cry even harder. His body was cracked. Sebastian's body was like he was nothing but a shell. He was all battered, the scars of those harmful words still carved on his beautiful skin. I never felt so alone till this moment, not even when I was trapped by those men those years ago. Because once you have something precious to you, you feel so at lost when it is gone from your grasp.<p>

Again I pulled Sebastian, crying with every step of the way. When I reached the manor I begged Tanaka to help me bring Sebastian to my room for myself to care him. He didn't question, he didn't even look at Sebastian. Tanaka gave me the upmost respect I could ever ask from one of my servants. After he placed him on my bed I crawled into my bed next to the body of my butler. Wrapping my arms around his waist I pressed my face against his chest and kept wishing that he could return my embrace.

"I tried to check him this morning, yes I did. He wouldn't let me in to give him his breakfast. The poor master didn't even touch the supper I left for him last night." The red-headed maid whispered.

"I don't know maybe one of us should go up and get him up then!" The chef spoke up.

"But if we do that we might make him mad…"

After a day passed I knew I had to clean the blood off of Sebastian. I would have thought I would have been disgusted by the blood on his face, but I somehow could ignore it. My face was flushed as I took off his tail coat and shirt exposing his chest. Rinsing a cloth I brought the damp material to his skin. I began to wipe off the dried blood areas; clearing away the blood the words on his chest were visible to my eye. On his chest, where his heart would have been, were carved the words: 'To Be Loved'. Seeing these words made me miss him even more as I remembered what we did as his final breath left him. Placing my fingers to my lips I recalled the way his lips lightly brushed against mine in the sweetest like of ways, definitely not what you would expect from a demon.

Weeks went by and I still kept Sebastian's body by my side. He like a doll to me, I treasure him being there for me. I was heading back upstairs from my afternoon tea, when I entered my room Sebastian's body was gone. "Sebastian!" I tore my room apart. After finding no trace of him I ran out of my room to find where his body went. It wasn't like he could just get up and walk right? "Tanaka! Bard! Meirin! Finnian! Bardroy! Hey! Anyone here?"

"_You do know who you should be calling for right Bocchan?" _

__That voice...

No. It is impossible.


	8. Something Strange

**Author's Note: This is part two of your update :) Enjoy and REMEMBER if you want this story updated before all my other stories REVIEW on the most recent chapter. The most reviews get the update :). **

**I also had a few questions on if people could create fanart of this story on DA. I say sure, I really don't mind just give me (JokerSmiles:) ) credit for the story(fanfic) and the author of kuroshitsuji in general and go right ahead. :) Art is fun and I don't believe there should be too many if any limitations. :) So create your favorite scene or something, have fun :)**

**The Sketches of Ciel's Drocell Doll outfit will be uploaded on my DA account tomorrow. Along with a few other pictures :)**

**-Jokersmiles:) **

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><p>"<em>You do know who you should be calling for right Bocchan?"<em>

No. It is impossible.

Slowly I turned my body around, afraid to see who may stand before me. The face of a man, smiling like he once did, standing there in front of me as he did before. "Sebastian?" My eyes started to water.

The smile on his now flawless face stretched wider. "Indeed, Bocchan."

Unable to control my usual uncaring demeanor I ran into his arms. With his arms around me I hugged him tightly. "How is this possible?" I whimpered into his chest.

"Really now my lord you have such little faith in me." He responded.

"I guess it doesn't matter. You're here now and that is what counts." I snuggled my face into him. "I love you Sebastian." I confessed shyly.

"Such human words." What? What kind of answer was that? Didn't he love me too? I remembered the word that were on his forehead. 'lust'. No, demons only lusted.

"Fine then." I pulled myself from his arms and turned to walk away from him. Sebastian pulled me back to his chest in his arms.

"Do you really intend to leave me with that? Couldn't my lord give me a better reply?" He replied slyly.

"What about you? I just told you I love you and you reply with commenting on how human I was." He was irritating.

"I never denied my love for you _Ciel_."

"You never call me that."

"My apologies. I am sorry I spoke out of my place."

"Indeed…"

A few months went by and it seemed fairly normal, but Sebastian seemed a bit off. It was probably because it was weird for us to be so familiar with each other now. Well, more so now that we both know we love each other. Though I wish he would kiss me again. Sounds really strange coming from me I know, but even after we officially confessed out love he has not kissed me nor said the words 'I love you' in a sentence. He only replies with words like 'You know I do.' I was just a little hard for me to take in, but I guess I couldn't force a demon to fully express human emotions.

Today was going to be a rough day, I got a letter from the queen stating that she wanted me to go to yet another circus. Apparently there is some disappearances, all young teenage boys. So of course I, a teenage boy, have to go. This was so typical, but I had to serve her none the less. With Sebastian there with me I will be fine.

"Sebastian we need to go to The Diamond Light Circus. Get the things together and let's get going."

"My lord was this request from the queen?"

"Of course." Who else would it come from?

"Maybe I should handle this mission alone, so you don't get in any harm's way." Sebastian you are acting suspicious, you are hiding something from me.

"That is ridiculous Sebastian, I have to do this mission."

"Though-" Why did he insist on arguing with me?

"We are BOTH going Sebastian!"

With a silent bow he relied with his gaze to the floor, "Yes my lord."

At the circus we watched all the usual performances. There didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary, well for a circus.

The ringmaster came out with a whip in hand for what they were describing the best for last act. "Now for the final act of the evening…"

"Bocchan maybe we should go back stage." Sebastian said a little too fast and worried than his usual calm self.

"I must watch the whole performance, Queen's orders."

"A beast no doubt from Hell itself, he will stare into your soul and gaze into your oncoming death. Filthy and _Unclean_, _Unnecessary_ to live, _Unwanted_ in his and our world. I give you the creature of the most horrible sorts…The DEMON!"

A lone cage too small for its occupant stood in the middle of the floor. There was blood caked all over his skin, abuse from that ringmaster probably. His face was down under his arm, black feathers were everywhere. Sebastian began to pull at my arm as I heard women and children scream, men call out horrible names. I stared at the creature…suddenly its head shot up and snarled in our direction trying to break free.


	9. Imitations

**Authors Note: This chapter came a bit early only because I had the quick sketch of Ciel's outfit from when he was with Drocell uploaded on my DA account. Better looking pictures are on its way... this one i just felt was long over due and the one i had edited (photo shop) had been lost so this was the next best thing I could show you for the time being. If you do not have my DA PM me and i will send it to you :) THe review to update status still stands...**

-JokerSmiles:)

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><p>Suddenly my head began to ache as I watched the poor creature struggle in his cage. Sebastian held me up for support.<p>

"We should go Bocchan." He began to lure me away from the stage, away from the beast, my senses quickly returned.

"No! Not until I am finished here!" My throat was grabbed viciously.

"Don't speak to me like that you unclean brat!" I couldn't breathe. My vision slowly began to blur away. Was this how I was going to die? My feet dangling with my throat in the grasp of the demon I loved? No, he couldn't do this to me. Not when I finally loved someone again. I fell to the ground as I watched a cascade of black as night feathers fly around me. Sebastian was thrown against the wall. I lifted my still aching head as the beast stood and dug his nails into Sebastian's throat.

"Don't. " I found myself saying. "Stop! Stop it! I love him!" With this unfound courage I reached up and tried to grab the creature's arm to pull him off Sebastian. Suddenly, the dark beast turned his head to me with their hair whipping to the other side of his neck.

Those eyes and face he wore. What is going on? "Sebastian?" My mind was in a whirl. I couldn't understand what was happening.

I almost fell back to the ground but the man with Sebastian's face lifted me into his arms and pulled me in front of him to view him choking my butler. "This man Bocchan is not me. He is an imitating an imitation of a man who no longer exists."

"But how-"

My butler Sebastian interrupted me. "Don't listen to this filth's lies Bocchan. We have a contract remember."

"Don't listen to him."

What was I going to do…Both of them looked the same…Then I thought of it.

"Show me your marks."

"The contract Bocchan?" My butler asked.

"No. The one on your chest."

My butler hesitantly stripped himself of his shirt, the creature wearing Sebastian's face torn off the bandages surrounding him… I looked at both of them…

Only one wore the marking of my love Sebastian. One of them had the words "To Be Loved" carved into his beautiful skin. My thoughts were undoubtedly confirmed. This demon, this creature…was Sebastian.

.


End file.
